Monks
By the time you finish reading this article you’ll understand why monks choose to be celibate.
Researchers have proven that going without sex or intimacy for months or years with someone that you love can weaken your immune system and cause anxiety and depression, so it takes a lot of work to keep your motivation levels up and maintain your psychological health if you’ve been single for a really long time, and as you’ll soon see casual sex only makes it worse.
Casual sex is far worse than celibacy.
Traditionally sex used to be something that you did with your partner that you loved, it was an expression of love. Sadly that is not the case anymore.
HIV hasn’t scared anyone….
When you have sex with someone that you love you spend lots of time cuddling which makes the man release oxytocin as well.
Women release more oxytocin when they have sex than men do. This explains why women are more likely to be monogamous and crave sex with one man.
Men on the other hand will release more oxytocin through cuddling. So a man in order to become attached needs to spend more time cuddling their partner and looking into their eyes.
From google-
As we make eye contact, oxytocin is released and our pupils tend to copy our partner’s. … When a person’s pupils dilate, the other person tends to trust them more. When they constrict, they trust them less. But trust is built most powerfully when eyes synchronise.
When two people commit to only being intimate with each other inevitably there will be a few bumps and mishaps before they truly synchronise and understand each other effortlessly. It takes a lot of emotional maturity in both individuals for this to happen.
It is incredibly draining if you have to talk to people that find you attractive when you feel repulsed by them if you haven’t had intimacy for a long time. Most attractive women will understand this.
This is why most abstinent monks live in isolation, abstinence is easier when they’re not objectified.
Objectification of women has all sorts of ramifications, many attractive women feel depressed, anxious and empty. They become obsessed about their appearance, and they become extremely insecure because their personality is ignored. This leads to narcissism and other psychological problems that can take a long time to fix, if they ever get fixed.
Attractive women need to feel appreciated for who they are underneath the pretty face, people need to acknowledge them as a whole person and not just a sexual object or baby making machine.
A conversation with someone that you find attractive, that finds you attractive can mean so much when you’ve been celibate for a long time.
The psychological ramifications of all this are significant.
So if you have been celibate for a long time the last thing you need is sex without intimacy, that can be quite damaging. That’s what creates porn addiction, that’s what stops people, young men in particular from being able to orgasm with someone that they love. They objectify women and cannot enjoy sex with their partner anymore after they have had children and gained weight.
For many people sex has become a physical act, but research has proven that all of the emotional areas of the male and the female brain light up during orgasm.
So you cannot orgasm with someone if you detest their personality, no matter how attractive they are to you.
This is why a lot of people are addicted to porn and casual sex.
But over time indulging in casual sex makes it harder for people to enjoy normal sex in a healthy, loving romantic relationship.
For many people this is a lifelong problem, they get married, they have children, yet they still continue to consume porn or cheat on their partner.
This emotional immaturity is actually quite common but we don’t talk about it.
This separation of sex, intimacy and a deep emotional connection is a major cause of severe depression and anxiety in our society.
This is why so many men in their 50s and 60s and beyond seek the attention of young attractive women.
It’s not holistic.
There is a huge divide and it is not spoken about.
It is politically incorrect to discuss this.
No one wants to acknowledge these facts.
The bottom line is if two people genuinely find each other attractive and there is no ulterior motive then they should open up to each other and get to know each other.
Sex is something that people should enjoy within their relationship, they shouldn’t have to look for it elsewhere.
Narcissism stops people from acknowledging this fact.
It takes time to get to know someone properly, the biggest challenge is that most people refuse to communicate after a minor misunderstanding. This immature knee jerk reaction makes it difficult for people to build a relationship with someone unless they are working with them. This severely limits us. Emotional maturity is so important, most people talk to their friends and tell them their side of the story which always paints them as the hero, and the other person as the villain.
So how does one go about building a relationship with someone that they are not working with?
Relinquish the ego….
But for this to work both parties have to relinquish their egos…..